In need of finding myself
I have been a complete mess lately. As if I’m so stressed or.. I don’t wanna say it but, depressed. I feel like such a weak individual not being able to stand independently. The thing is is that I know what I have to do to make things better for myself but I can’t seem to find the courage to do so. Which results in me falling back and being helpless… which is absolutely pathetic. I’m sitting here asking myself, “Why can’t I find the courage to do so though? Why am I not motivated?” I guess when you feel like you’re about to lose something that had such a huge impact on your life you start to lose that passion and/or commitment you once had. Right now I feel like I’m at the point of when you try really hard to reach a certain goal but fallback so short, and it’s not because you failed your part but because the other part failed on you, and you kind of start to lose hope. What am I supposed to do now? I wish I could start off new, in a new place, with new surroundings, new people, new relations, etc. To disconnect myself from what I know and start fresh. For God to bring me to my lowest point and to break me so I’m able to bring myself back up and mold myself again. I kind of feel like I’m in a deep wound that’s not going to heal anytime soon except with the help of a miracle.
